Are You Living by Design?

Are You Living By Design?

posted by: Deana Hudson

Are you living life by chance or by design? Living by design takes a few simple but neglected steps including purpose, discipline, and one other…

In order to take the first steps towards living by design, you first need to create a purpose for yourself. Find the “why” (What Holds You) for you. When you keep the “why” before you, decisions become straightforward. Zig Ziglar, in his great audio program called “Goals,” gives us two questions to ask as we make choices:

1.) Is it morally right and fair to everyone involved?

2.) Does it get me closer or further from my primary objective?

With a clear, created purpose and these questions, life becomes clear and you will know the direction you are moving. It’s your responsibility to find and achieve your best and highest calling. Will you do it?

Strengthening Discipline and Will Power

Thanks to the “me” focus of our culture for the past generations, we have lost sight of the need for, and the benefit of, discipline and will power. Instead of denying themselves in the present in order to achieve a future benefit, most people want to receive the benefit today and then be rewarded the benefit tomorrow! Credit problems, government programs, and the constant drone of the “blame game” all reflect the idea that there should be no consequences for taking the easy and enjoyable patch today. However, life doesn’t work that way. The overriding law of nature is that of cause and effect: the consequences of your life are ultimately determined by what you have done and how you have done it.

So here is the ultimate question for you: Are you willing to invest now in order to receive a return later? What you do and the way you do it will ultimately determine the path of your life. Jim Rohn often says, “We can choose the pain we experience, the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.”

It takes will power to deny yourself, but with a purpose, it’s easier. If you know you are going to weigh a certain amount, it’s easy to turn down that dessert. If you know where you are going, choosing the turns to get you there is actually pretty easy.

Managing Time

For many years “time management” has been a staple of business management seminar speakers and personal development books. The problem, of course, is that you can’t really manage time. Time just moves forward. Moments turn in to minutes. Minutes turn into hours. Then days, weeks, months, years. There’s nothing any of us can do to “manage” time. Everyone has the same amount: 24 hours in every day. You can’t buy time, save time, or make time. As in the immortal words of that great philosopher of my youth who states, “Time keeps on slippin’ slippin’ slippin’… in to the future.”

So if you can’t manage time, you need to learn how to manage and improve what is happening with your time. This is simple but challenging: You have to learn to manage yourself. It is self management. It is discovering in your very soul that each moment passing is a moment that will never pass again. How you are spending it and all of the other moments of your days, months, and years will determine the path and results of your life. You will discover that how you live each moment makes a difference in what ultimately happens in your life.

Remember those goals for the next year that you have written out? How present are they for you right now? Have you thought about them today? If not, why not? Take a moment now and focus on them.

Aligning Goals and Life

Keeping them present for yourself will help you to adjust your days and your use of time to align with accomplishing what’s important to you. That’s one reason that you write them down and a good reason to review them once in a while. I review my goals daily and I actually keep my primary goal on a laminated card which I carry in my pocket everyday. It’s on a florescent orange cardstock allowing it to stay really active in my mind so I can use them as I make decisions throughout my day. The more active you are in engaging your goals with your life, the more real they become to you. And the more real they become.

There is nothing as sad as human beings who have left their destiny to chance. Those who think that life is something that happens to them rather than something they design are sad shadows of what they are made to be. You see, you design your life by deciding how you’ll use it every moment of every day. Each moment is the most precious gift that you have. So how do you spend them? How will you spend the moments that stretch out before you? How many do you have?

No Mortal Knows

While we don’t know how many moments are left to us, what we all know is that there are only so many. You can’t recover one that is gone. You can’t buy or find more. So they are valuable, precious and of infinite worth. But they’re free. Because of that we treat them as though they are worthless, but nothing could be farther from the truth. So, starting right now, live your life with focus. Know where you’re going and why you’re going there. Manage yourself and move towards your vision. Let’s go!

Personal Growth

How To Release Negativity

By: Michelle Beaudry

The past cannot be undone. What you change is how you feel about it.

How Are You Going To Do It?
You’re tired of being negative. You’re ready to change. You need a plan. Read on, my friend, for this is the process of releasing negativity and restoring your spirit. Change is good.

Fear and Anger Are Killers
Ask any doctor. The stress of feeling badly all the times can easily lead to medical disorders. Your body and mind are a continuum. In other words, although they are not exactly the same, a great overlap exists between your mind and body, uniting them. Relieve your mental stress and your body will be happier, too. It’s time to unburden yourself of everything that has been blocking progress in your life by keeping you attached to an unhappy past.

Feeling Better Is a Process
Negativity accumulates in our lives, in our souls, over time. The process of removing it optimally happens in layers. It’s best to release as much of each stored neagtive emotion as you can during each sucessive attempt. And of course, you want a safe, private means of release that is as quiet and effective as possible. You can jettison all that old negativity easily and thoroughly by following simple instructions.

Visualization
Sports teams have used visualization to improve their level of excellence for decades, visualizing themselves winning trophies, for example. This same technique that so wonderfully installs positive expectation can also be used to eliminate negativity. This means that you can literally let go of old stored feelings of anger, fear, abandonment, embarrassment, and so on, that have been accumulating inside of you all of your life.

Let a Higher Power Help You
Do you prefer the word God, Source, Universe, Goddess, Higher Self, or do you have yet another name for that which is all that is? Let your choice reflect your tastes, and let your Higher Power help you. For once you release negative energy, your Higher Power can then transform it into something positive elsewhere in the Universe.

Humans Store Emotions Physically
Your body is made of cells, the cells are made of molecules, the molecules are made of atoms, and those are made up of whirling bits of energy; ergo, your body is pure energy. We humans store old memories and emotions in our bodies. That’s why the releasing of negativity is a physical, visceral feeling of expelling energy, because energy is what it is, what it all is, what we all are. Ask Einstein.

Examples of What To Release
Fear, anger, rage, abandonment, rejection, guilt, shame, worry, blame, numbness, hurt, hatred, jealousy, and disgust are good places to begin. Your unique soul will know which feelings most need releasing, and in which order to do them. You may need to release some of the deepest ones several times to remove ever deeper layers.

What Does It Feel Like?
Expelling negativity is not a negative experience, it is a relief. For example, when you let go of a deep layer of fear, you do not feel afraid, you feel relieved of fear. Letting go of rage does not mean that you’ll be shouting and thrashing about. Rather, your feelings of rage simply pass out of you, and it is a relief. The old negative feelings are fully released and expelled outwards. Releasing negative emotions needn’t involve experiencing the pain inherent in any individual emotion. You’ve already experienced way too much of that. Getting rid of them feels like what it is: a release. It’s like taking a gorilla off of your back. It’s removing old baggage that does not serve you anymore. It actually feels good. And you will feel progressively better afterwards each time.

Follow Instructions Through the Steps
Get quiet and close your eyes. Be in a quiet, comfortable place without distractions. Vizualize that you are standing in a beautiful place with your arms up, way up, looking up at your Higher Power. Select the negative emotion you first wish to release, and make that happen. Feel it physically leaving your body, sailing up your arms, and then being jettisoned out into space, gone for good, released permanently. Repeat with all the rest of the stored emotions you wish to release. Another approach is to phrase it like this: “I release whatever is obstructing me from my goals,” and let the stored emotions let you know what they are as they leave.

Then Restore Your Spirit
Once the bad layers are released, it’s best to fill up the spaces they left with something wonderfully positive. May I suggest that you begin the restoration of your spirit with Personal Power, Love, Acceptance, and Inner Peace. Personal Power restores your boundaries to normal settings, Love returns you to harmony with all that is, Acceptance assures you that you are wanted and welcomed in the world, and Inner Peace encloses you in a wonderful blanket of secure and peaceful feelings. Simply visualize each of these in turn, whatever they look like to you, and bring each inside of you, merging and bonding with it, soaking in its individual positive energy, then radiating its clarity and serenity everywhere throughout your person. Think of these as permanent upgrades to your soul.

Is There An Easier Way?
Yes, there is an easier way. “Release Negativity and Restore Your Spirit” is a CD takes you through all the steps in under an hour. Using emotive visualization, you’ll be able to have both the release and restoration experiences privately, in your own time, in your own home. You are unique, and may require repeated listenings for full relief. And full relief is what you want. Emotive visualization combines music, narration, and detailed instructions in order to open the hard drive of your subconscious mind and upgrade your files by forming new neural connections.

Michelle Beaudry, board certified hypnotist, works out of Central Florida, and takes clients in person and by phone from all over the world. Contact her at info@beaudryhypnosis.com. She wrote and narrated “Release Negativity and Restore Your Spirit” CD. www.beaudryhypnosis.com

Romance

The Metaphysics of Romance

posted by:Deana Hudson

To explore relationship models that are counter-productive, one need go no further than what is presented by the media, film, and literature of modern society, as it descends now through the last phase of its materialist mode.
In answer to this dysfunctional arena, and to feed into an alternative stream, this article delves into some of the more whole-some relational and metaphysical dynamics of partnering, by apprehending what takes place beneath appearances.

Entering into relationship

A karmic bond is often the initial drawing force between partners. In a karmic relationship the underlying magnetism can be powerful, as a deeper wisdom works with the alchemic process of karmic balance. Despite suffering entailed (often a semi-sweet tableau), a rich harvest awaits.
Once the mainstay of learning has been processed, by one, or both, of the partners, the drawing force can abate.
Many long to transcend the karmic level, and move into the grace of a “soul-mate” communion. Either way, karma or grace – the shadow, or “pain body,” is activated to ensure spiritual growth.
Bringing consciousness into the arena of shadow is a central raison d’etre for relationship. No matter who you hook up with, whether the relationship is about karma, grace, destiny, or one’s soul-mate – call it just plain lucking out – shadow will be along for the dance.

Especially for pre-midlife adults, unborn children also create a powerful attracting force between partners. These souls striving to be born select their would-be parents and influence them to get together. The force these “spiritual babies” exert accounts for much of the principle energy moving within a couple’s attraction and sexual intensity. The force of attraction can decrease to the extent the spiritual-plane activity of the children abates. For example, by age 7, children have incarnated their own etheric body, by 14, their own astral body. Each phase reduces parental cohesion orchestrated on the spiritual plane, as the child moves deeper into incarnation.

By midlife, a more soulful aspect of a (functional) individual’s biography often plays a bigger part in the bonding force.

A key aspect for transcending the “child factor,” as well as enhancing the union in general, entails co-forming a foundation before engaging on a sexual level. The typical model of relationship that Hollywood has been serving up to ticket-paying masses tends to deliver lovers to the same unviable arena of relating that its own celebrities find themselves so often engaged in.
About 95% of love stories that modern film portray entail new partners advancing to sexuality at lightning speed – if not on the first day, then at least in the first week. On film you can do anything. In reality, this factor invites an early dissolution – or, at very least makes for a precarious basis for unity and rapport.
Imagine re-writing these barren scripts, so that a couple spends considerable time in the initial courtship phase, exploring all manner of experience – sharing interests, getting to know each other’s diverse facets, cultivating a soul-deep affinity. In effect, developing a solid foundation upon which to sustain the relationship.
Imagine, also, the dimension nurtured in a prolonged courtship, and the compelling body of experience that gets passed by when a couple depreciates their relationship. Driven by whims of unconscious craving, the intense fire of sexuality takes on a force of its own, so that these potential aspects of intimacy get short-circuited.
A foundational phase also lends room for resolving obstacles, including left over issues from past relationships, in preparation for the new communion. Partners can become active during the courtship phase at clearing themselves, as well as helping each other’s process (most of which is about being supportive, since every individual ultimately has to accomplish such clearing by virtue of their own intention – it can’t be done for someone).

“Love at first sight” can be a very real phenomena – but, then, it is only first sight this life. . . which brings to mind that statement people so often throw around carelessly, “You only live once.” I always add on – “. . .yes, but it’s forever. . . .”

Engaging, once in relationship

As a noted spiritual counselor has stated, “The purpose of relationship is not to make one happy, but more conscious.”
Relationship in action tends to address the existential question, where am I? Finding orientation within the soul’s terrain is a natural by-product of relating.
We know it’s working when a relationship induces the partners to fulfill their destinies, to optimize their potential.

Forgiveness at every turn opens doors of deeper awareness. The word itself, for-give – suggests that one give before having full comprehension of a situation, an act that serves as a catalyst to remove barriers to understanding.
At the same time, a true act of forgiveness does not entail condoning a dysfunction.

When I consider what a relationship would look like when it has evolved beyond the karmic level to a level of grace, I come to a perspective that views partners as revolving spheres that interact – an image that honors the multi-facetted nature of a human being, in which dynamics that might otherwise be shunned can find a place at the banquet of relation, and so come to wholeness.
On the face of the sphere are arrayed all possible conceptions and roles of an individual. As the sphere turns, the individual moves from vulnerable, to invulnerable, parental, to child-like. Aspect by aspect, moving through feminine, masculine, or “balanced” states. One phase as a lover, the next as a poet, servant, guru, healer, patient, humorist, teacher, student, visionary, seeker. . . an endless cast of roles. Meanwhile, the partner’s sphere is also revolving, engaging an equally limitless array of inter-weavings.
In a whole-seeking relationship this modality can work, as long as the partners are cognizant of the ever-revolving sphere. Problems can arise, if a partner gets “stuck” in one dynamic for a lengthy duration. But with a reasonable degree of functionality, the dance of partnering can assume all manner of dimension and proportion.
This becomes love acting in freedom. Practicing the engagement of one’s Being, and facilitating the same in one’s partner.

Ways to Reduce Holiday Stress

Three Effective Ways to Reduce Stress and Depressed Mood During the Holidays

posted by: Deana Hudson

The holiday season is quickly approaching and many of us are preparing for this joyous time of the year. Some may embrace the holidays with cheer, hope, and thanksgiving while others may embrace the season with burden, anxiety, and personal failure. This article addresses three ways you can overcome anxiety and depressed mood during the holidays.

The first and most effective way to avoid anxiety and depressed mood is to recognize unachievable and unrealistic expectations (unhealthy thoughts) that you may subscribe to. Our thoughts have a direct bearing over our emotional disposition and the consequences that occur in the aftermath. We often cannot change circumstances (situations, events, and the behavior of others) that occur in our lives but we do have the power to alter the way we feel and react to them by simply changing the way we think. If we would like to avoid experiencing anxiety and depressed mood during the holidays, we must take ownership and control over our own thoughts by identifying unhealthy thoughts that we may subscribe to that might be contributing to a negative emotional disposition and replace them with healthier ones.

Some may fear social rejection and judgment from others. Though others may choose to judge negatively, pondering on this thought can ultimately rob you of experiencing joy and happiness. The following are six common unachievable and unrealistic expectations (unhealthy thoughts) that are often pondered on during the holidays:

1. “I need to spend a lot of money on gifts otherwise I might be perceived negatively by others” – It is a shame that so much worry is attributed from the issue of money especially during the holidays. We should not feel or be made to feel that the holidays are all about external/physical gifts. The most precious gift that we can give to one another is our fellowship and love (internal gifts). No external/physical gift can replace this. Internal gifts have a longer shelf life and increase our self-esteem more than external/physical gifts. We must keep this issue in the proper perspective otherwise we can inadvertently teach others that external/physical gifts are more precious and desirable than our fellowship and love.

2. “For gatherings, my home must always be clean and tidy otherwise I might be perceived negatively by others” – It is never okay to invite guests to a filthy home. But expecting your home to be constantly tidy might be an unrealistic expectation, especially when children are present. Expecting such would only cause you anxiety and depressed mood. Do not worry about the cleanliness of your home but rather focus on fellowship as this is much more important and significant.

3. “I must prepare a flawless meal for my gathering otherwise I might be perceived negatively by others” – The quality of meals should not be the main focus of the holidays. If food preparation is an issue, there is nothing wrong with purchasing meals from a restaurant. To go one step further, having a potluck might be a better and less expensive idea as your guests would be directly involved with the food preparation by offering a variety of foods at your gathering freeing up time for fellowship.

4. “My physical appearance must be acceptable and appropriate otherwise I might be perceived negatively by others” – Aside from daily hygiene, do not worry about your physical appearance. The fellowship that you can give to one another is much more important than your physical appearance. More times than not, our own anxiety over our physical appearance has more to do with how we feel about ourselves rather than how others may perceive us.

5. “I need to bring a mate to the gathering otherwise I might be perceived negatively by others” – If you are single, sometimes attending a gathering by yourself where couples are present might make you feel uncomfortable as you might feel that you do not fit in. Keep in mind that you are not alone as there are many people that are divorced, separated, or single. If having a mate was a prerequisite for gatherings, I guarantee you that there would be a lot less gatherings! In addition, avoiding gatherings would only rob you of the experience of possibly meeting a potential mate.

6. “I need to pretend that I am happy during gatherings otherwise I might be perceived negatively by others” – Experiencing happiness is not a prerequisite for attending gatherings. Oftentimes, life events and experiences that have nothing to do with the holidays may play a direct role in your emotional disposition. The wonderful thing about gatherings is that there are plenty of people that you can talk with. If someone asks you how you are doing or feeling, be honest with them and let them know. Do not tell them that everything is fine when it is not. Oftentimes, having someone to discuss your problems with might actually help you resolve them as well as make you feel better. Take advantage of this opportunity.

If there are any other unhealthy thoughts that you might be dealing with that are not discussed in this article, I encourage you to write those thoughts down on a piece of paper writing a healthier thought (one that you would like to subscribe to) next to it. It would also be a good idea for you to review these thoughts daily so that it becomes easier to recognize and replace unhealthy thoughts.

The second way to avoid anxiety and depressed mood is to establish personal and professional goals for yourself. There is a lot to be said for New Year’s resolutions. Establishing short and long-term goals is a healthy idea because they can provide you with structure by giving you something to look forward to. Goals oftentimes give meaning to our lives. Those who do not have goals often feel hopeless and helpless. Just make sure that the goals that you establish are significant and achievable otherwise they will not be effective or worth your while to achieve.

And finally, the third way to avoid anxiety and depressed mood is to work at giving to others. Sometimes we are fooled into believing that happiness is achieved through the gifts that we receive or the items that we purchase. Just the opposite is true. You can achieve true happiness by helping others in need, volunteering your services, holding the hand of one in despair, or just simply being there when one experiences a low moment in his/her life. Oftentimes, it is not the words that we say that lifts one’s spirit or gives one hope. But rather, it is just being there that makes all the difference in the world. At times, we feel uncomfortable because we do not know the right words to say to those who are hurting. Words are not always important. The fellowship and the love that you can provide is what the holidays are all about. Let’s not lose this perspective and let’s not give unhealthy thoughts, with all the anxiety and depressed mood that goes along with them, the ability to rob us from experiencing the joy and the happiness that we all deserve to experience during the holidays. Happy holidays to all!